Dec. 8th, 2013

daidoji_gisei: Lotus flower (Lotus)
I've been struggling to write this week. Mostly I think this is caused by my not having written anything since mid-November--getting back into writing after a break feels like resurrecting myself. It's a problem I wouldn't have if I had just had the discipline to write something every day, but there were so many days I came home without the energy even to take a bath, and those nights I did have energy I had to cook, wash dishes, and do laundry, and all this proves that I'm lazy and lack discipline. (I'd blame my therapist for my current bitterness, but the truth is it's far to easy for me to hate myself, and this predates him by decades.)

I do have a plot now, and it's been vetted by Shawn, so that hurdle is cleared. (I usually don't bother with this step, but for various reasons it seemed like a good idea.) I'll resume grinding away at the text this afternoon; it will be interesting to see how far I will get. I used to consider 500 words my max for the day but in the first week of NaNo I was getting 1000-1500 a day maximums: I'll see if I can find and rechannel the mindset that made this possible.

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