Today's Leading Story

"In an unprecedented move, today the EPA threatened to shut down the AEG forums, citing toxic amounts of KFFG emanating from the 'Race for the Throne' subform. The action was tabled when it was pointed out that KFFG is not a chemical, and therefor falls outside of the agency's purview. 'Yeah, we knew that going in,' a EPA spokesperson was quoted as saying, 'but really, how can anyone think with all that stuff floating around?'"