Two Haiku

[daidoji_gisei]

The last scout meeting of the year was tonight. I may have more thoughts on this later, but for now here are two haiku I left scrawled on the sidewalk of the church we met at.



Peonies in bloom
in early summer heat
nod heavy pink heads



Catalpa rising
into heaven fears no lightening
only time



I think the first one is more successful overall, but I like the idea of the second one better. Maybe I'll try to work on it more? I'm really a lousy poet, but I like the compactness and stringent design of haiku.

After the meeting Linda, Linda's daughter and one of the other girls and I were leaving the building together. The others stopped to read what I and others had written on the sidewalks. "What's that?" the other girl said. "Haiku" I told her. "You're weird," she said firmly.

Comments

[helen-keeble.livejournal.com]

I like the second one better too, though it's currently straining to fit into 5-7-5. The book of haiku that I have (mix of original English-language haiku, and translated classic Japanese ones) mainly don't use the rigid syllable pattern, preferring a looser interpretation of the form.

And weird is a complement. *grin*

(I kinda want someone to call me weird, so that I can zing back with a cool "New Weird, actually.", thus winning both massive geek points and a second, more vehelment accusation of weirdness)

[daidoji-gisei.livejournal.com]

The thing that bothers me about the 'you're weird' comments from my Scouts is how very low their standards are in this matter. They think I'm weird because I don't own a TV or a cell phone, have no particular desire for either, and write spontaneous haiku on sidewalks. They don't know about my Hawkwind collection, or that I write L5R fanfic, or squee over spikey-haired young men with swords, or...you get the point. Is it simply youth that makes them so narrow?