In which I am Cranky at points

[daidoji_gisei]

Sunday did not go well. Not that anything bad happened, but it was hot and I was slow and very little got done. The very thought of turning the oven on made me want to cry, so no cooking got done. This also made me want to cry, because raw hamburger doesn't live forever and I need to get that package cooked before it goes toxic on me. Worse still, I have two bunches of dandelion greens that need to be cooked before they go bad. I've never had dandelion greens before, and I have no way of predicting when I'll have the chance again, so I really don't want them to go to slime while sitting in my fridge.


I did call my mom Sunday night, though this left me feeling more put-upon than accomplished. Last week she had asked if I could come down to Omaha on Wednesday; she has her yearly check-up with her oncologist that morning and she wanted me to come along. This is, I admit, a perfectly reasonable request. But it's going to be a hundred degrees on Wednesday and my car has no air conditioning, so I'll have to rent a car, and I'll have to bother a friend to go help me pick it up and take it back and I'll have to burn a day of sick time to cover the hours. Last year I used up all of my sick time and all of my vacation time and then when into negative numbers in both taking her to various appointments and caring for her after her surgery and now I'm still using up my resources on her. My sister the sewer rat didn't so much as send her a get well card. I think that's what really annoys me. But I could rant for pages and pages about my sister (and eventually I probably will) so maybe I'd better move on now.


On the positive side, having reread ACH I've decided that I don't suck at writing. I can already sense the eye-rolling this will cause among some of my readers, but I really am my worst critic and finding that I can read my old stuff without pain was nice. I also had an aha! moment when I realized why Bleach has eaten my brain so badly--it has certain things in common with ACH, and I write the kind of stories that I like to read.

Comments

[matt-dalen.livejournal.com]

Point the first:
Dandelion greens aren't *that* great. (plus, I'm surprised they don't grow wild near you - they're a rather annoying lawn weed over here)

Point the second:
For renting a car, have you tried Enterprise? I know they have it a part of their guarantee that they'll drive you from your house to the rental place and back, so you wouldn't have to bug a friend to drive you.

Point the third:
Has your mother been improving at all?

Point the fourth:
I like the "point the X" construction *way* too much.

Point the fifth:
I remember reading some author a while ago who mentioned that most authors go through a phase of hating a given piece, usually shortly after it was done and out the door. That usually passes. Although reading early work is *really* painful much of the time. (At least it is with me. I'm still not sure why I thought that my first story was any good...)

[helen-keeble.livejournal.com]

I remember reading some author a while ago who mentioned that most authors go through a phase of hating a given piece, usually shortly after it was done and out the door.

My version of this is to re-read things and, rather than hating them, suddenly think of a way in which it could have been SO MUCH COOLER. I want the option to send patches out to readers enabling them to upgrade to v2.0.

I only truly hate stories that are half-finished. Because by that point the initiall thrill of shiny new story! has worn off, and I'll I want is the HA I HAVE WRITTEN TRULY I AM AS A GOD endorphin high that comes from writing "The End".

And yay ACH! *bounces*

[daidoji-gisei.livejournal.com]

Because by that point the initiall thrill of shiny new story! has worn off, and I'll I want is the HA I HAVE WRITTEN TRULY I AM AS A GOD endorphin high that comes from writing "The End".

I want some of what's in your head. When I get to the end of writing a story my reaction is, "Is this really going to make sense to anyone else? Who would really want to read this stuff?" Intellectually I know there is a list of people who want to read this stuff, but still.

In compensation, I guess, I like the half-finished stage. At that point I have a beginning (even if it needs polishing), and I can see the end (even if it's not quite the same end I forsaw when I started) and I can feel the story growing word by delicate word.

[daidoji-gisei.livejournal.com]

Yes, we have dandelions in Nebraska (boy, do we!), but their leaves are usually only about 3 inches long--produce's dandelions were like a full 12 inches! (Sometime, size does matter.) Also, my lawn never gets watered and with the drought I expect the wild ones to be super bitter. Though I have considered harvesting some seeds and cultivating them as an experiment.